In life, you can either give up whenever you disagree with someone, or you can press in, engage, and negotiate on something until you reach a point where you can feel proud to call it yours. Where you carry shame, worry, doubt, fear, or disagreement in the context of relationship, you need to talk it out, first with yourself and God, then with the other person/people. Sometimes, it helps bringing up the matter of disagreement you have with an individual to someone else you trust and know won’t judge you for whatever you’re feeling. This way everything is out in the open and no longer bottled up inside you. There’s something about being honest that creates hope and security. Believe me, I’ve wanted to isolate myself so many times before instead of sharing the heavy burdens on my heart with someone who cared. And when I decided instead to get help over staying alone in my room, it healed me so much, and I gained incredible freedom. This is what relationships are for.
I think in order to be in a successful relationship or friendship with someone, you need other relationships for support, feedback, and encouragement. Without those, you don’t get the clarity, discernment, and insight you need to maintain a healthy relationship. You will come up to things in your relationship that will make you fearful, question your beliefs, doubt yourself, challenge yourself in a good way, and unveil insecurities you’ve hidden inside for a long time. Let these things come to the surface, and don’t run away when they come.
Instead, get help and press into the very issues and bad feelings that make you want to leave. You can find help in many people, though not everyone is safe. Learn how and who to trust, and you really can find success in relationships.
Hearing the insight of people who care about you can help you make necessary changes in the relationship you’re having problems in. If you feel fearful in a relationship but don’t necessarily have a reason to feel that way, talking it out with someone can help you come to a rational conclusion about why you feel the way you do. If they know you well, they may be able to see how much of the problem is yours compared to how much of it is the other person’s.
You have nothing to lose in persisting in your various friendships and relationships. You will learn where you need to change and how you need to grow. You cannot control another person, and this is why it’s wise to seek counsel when you feel you disagree with another person. Don’t blame them for things they haven’t done. Get help in how to address the issues you see in the relationship. Honest conversation almost always creates a platform for negotiation where you can work out your pain within a relationship and make it even stronger. This will bring understanding and greater clarity, something everyone deserves in their relationships.