As you may know, you can’t control people. No matter how cleverly you think or how hard you work to get someone to do what you want, you really can’t get them to do it. I mean, people try controlling other people, but no one enjoys this- the person being controlled and the person doing the controlling. No one gets any fun out of it? No, because everyone wants to choose for themselves what they wanna to do. If we gotta be forced, it’s not something we wanted or were ready to do.
Think about this, if we can’t control another person, them why do we use things like rudeness and manipulation and condescending attitudes? Those can’t change another person. We think they do. My belief is that at some point you realize that the only thing left to do is to be kind. You can’t control anyone with this either, but it’s through kindness you find who really wants to do the things you actually want them to. When you don’t mention something, but you see the person doing what you wanted, isn’t that a much better feeling than if you had nagged or manipulated them to do it? Yes. They did it from their own free will, and there was no better way. 🙂
When you take care of someone- think good customer service or making someone laugh- you meet a need in them and they feel relaxed. I think we can all learn good customer service and a good sense of humor. When people feel you caring, they stop trying. They begin to trust you. Now, take that a step further. Someone may disagree with your choices in life. Take care of that person disagreeing with you and making it known to you, and guess what? They really needed that glass of sweet tea, so they shut up. They thought your joke was genuinely funny and forgot what you were talking about. They liked the fact you asked about their day, and they wanted to know about yours. They no longer need to or want to think about what ways they disagree with you and your choices. They totally forgot about their reservations toward you altogether. You took their mind off of everything but the moment. You took their minds off of unreal, or at least unimportant ideas, and helped them come back to real life, here and now. What I do and what you do doesn’t matter to others when we’re simply living and validating them. I’m my opinion, this is how humanity is meant to operate. When we take care of people like this, they stop worrying and begin to flourish.
The Joys of Whimsy 